THE SECOND VOW:

4-Days To Fall In Love Again With The Person You Married

An immersive in-person program that gives you back the husband you married, and the marriage you meant to have.

No months of counseling. No tiptoeing around.

You never fell out of love. You fell out of practice.

You and your husband didn’t wake up one morning and decide to stop.

It went slowly. The conversations got shorter. You both started handling things instead of sharing them. You learned which subjects to walk around, and after walking around them for a while, it’s just how you talk now.

You still know how many minutes he’ll take to shower. He still knows the sound you make when you’re upset. It’s all still in there. You just stopped reaching for each other, because reaching kept ending badly, and it was easier to keep the peace than to keep trying.

You aren’t in a broken marriage.

You’re two people who stopped practicing something you were never taught in the first place.

Nobody sat you down and showed you what to do when he goes quiet for three days. Nobody explained why the same fight keeps showing up wearing different clothes. You’ve been doing the best you can and hoping love would cover the gaps.

Love won’t close those gaps. But love is the reason you’re here, willing to learn how.

The path forward isn’t to talk more about it or to read more about it. It isn’t to understand him better. You can already read him better than he reads himself.

The path forward is for both of you to practice a better way to reach for each other.

What Changes In 4 Days?

You'll find out why you do what you do

You’ll pinpoint the specific wound underneath your reactions, and you’ll see the moments when it fires. Most people spend years managing something they’ve never been able to name.

You'll find out where his comes from

The shutting down, the leaving the room, the going cold for three days. You’ll see the wound and stop reading it as evidence of how he feels about you, because it never was about you.

You'll both know what to do when the other is turbulent

Right now you have two options. You push, and he goes further away. Or you back off, and it sits between you for days. You’ll leave with a third option that brings you together.

You'll be able to communicate the three things you've been avoiding

Sex. Money. Family. Almost every fight in a marriage traces back to one of those three, and nobody has taught you how to have those conversations without them turning into something else.

You'll end where you started

The last thing that happens on day four is a vow. Not the one you made at your wedding, and not a renewal of it. A second one, made by two people who now know exactly what they’re promising.

Everyone Walks In Nervous

Testimonials from couples who’ve worked with Marriage Matters

My husband scheduled our appointment and chose Marriage Matters without any input from me.

That is scary in itself lol, but I am so HAPPY he did.

Jen M.

This is not your average marriage counseling approach. My husband and I had tried another MFT and weren't satisfied with his methods. He began with a lesson on how we, as individuals, are wired. He made us understand why we carried all these feelings toward each other.

Jill T.

During the course of our separation, my husband, initially, sought Luis' coaching and immediately started to show changes. I was still hesitant. But after being given the ultimatum to go, I finally agreed, not realizing that would be the biggest blessing.

Erica T.

Who The Second Vow is Built For

This approach isn’t for every couple, and we’d rather tell you that now than take your money and find out in the room.

It's for you if:

You've been carrying this for a while. You're tired in a way that sleep doesn't fix.
You're the one who researches, who brings it up, who tries.
You still want this marriage. Not the idea of it, not for the kids, not because leaving is expensive. Him.
You're willing to look at your own part, even if you're fairly sure his part is bigger.
You believe in something bigger than the two of you. You don't need to be religious, but couples who think a marriage is worth honoring do better in this room.
You're willing to have four hard days rather than four more years of this.

It's NOT for you if:

You've already decided to leave and you want to be able to say you tried everything.
You're coming to get him fixed. If you want us to explain to him what you've been saying for years, this will disappoint you.
There's violence in your home. This program is not safe for that. Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
Someone is in active addiction. That has to be addressed first. Tell us on your call and we'll point you toward people who do that work well.
One of you is in crisis right now and needs individual care. We'll help you find it, but this program is for later.

How The Second Vow Works

1. Before you come.

The program starts with a phone call. We’ll ask what’s happening in your marriage and you’ll ask us whatever you need to. If we’re not a good fit, we’ll let you know.

2. Small group of couples.

You’ll be in a room with other people carrying the same thing. Enough couples that you’ll recognize yourself in someone else. Few enough that nobody gets lost. Nothing is shared with the room that you don’t choose to share.

3. You'll do it, not just discuss it.

Most of what happens here isn’t discussion. You’ll be on your feet, doing things with each other, and finding out what’s true by feeling it rather than by being told.

It will not be comfortable. You and your partner will be going into the places you’ve been walking around, and that’s the point. Sticking to what’s comfortable doesn’t bring change.

4. Thursday through Sunday.

Thursday and Friday nights. All day Saturday and Sunday. Each day builds on the one before it. It’s not four sessions where things reset every month.

5. The Second Vow.

The last day ends with a vow, said out loud, in front of everyone.

Before You Talk to Him

Most women who come to us had to bring this up at home first, and most of them were nervous about it. We wrote him a page. It’s short, it’s straight, and it doesn’t tell him he’s the problem.

Who's Leading These Four Days

Luis Rengifo

Founder and Head Instructor

It started in 2007 with a phone call in the middle of the night from a couple in crisis. Luis built the first version of this work the following year, around one idea: that most couples don’t need more time, they need to stop circling the actual problem.

He works with couples who are ready to do something. Not couples who want to be told they’re fine.

He built these four days after watching the same thing happen over and over in weekly sessions: couples would get somewhere real, leave, and come back the next week starting over. The format wasn’t holding what people were doing in it.

He’s a marriage counselor and executive coach, trained in NLP and leadership work, and he’s been doing this for eighteen years. He’s been married for 24 of them, with three kids, which means there is nothing you’re bringing into that room that he hasn’t either seen or lived.

What It Costs

$2500 per Couple

Payment plans available.

Covers all four days for both you and your partner and everything in the program.

Once you're in, you're in

You can cancel and get a full refund any time up to 14 days before. After that, we don’t offer refunds, and that’s on purpose.

These four days work because both of you are in the room for all of them, especially the uncomfortable parts. That only happens when the decision is already made before you walk in. A couple with one foot out the door doesn’t get what the other couples get.

Start With a Conversation

If you’ve read this far, you already know whether or not this sounds like a program for you.

The fit call is 20 minutes. We’ll ask what’s happening in your marriage, you’ll ask us whatever you need to, and we’ll tell you honestly if we think this is right for you.

Next Date:

[Insert Date]

Program Location:

2323 N. Tustin Ave. Suite J,
Santa Ana, CA 92705

What if he won't come?

Most husbands say no the first time. Some say yes when they read the page we wrote for him, which is written to him and doesn’t tell him he’s the problem. Some say yes once they hear it has a curriculum and an end date.

Book the call anyway. We’ve had this conversation a lot of times, and we can tell you what tends to work with a man who’s already braced for it.